Let Your So Called Flaws Be a Driving Force

Do you have a trait that is typically seen as a negative one, but you hold onto it because of the positive benefits it brings you? I've learned to embrace my perfectionism and the anxiety it brings because of I have benefited to much from the drive, motivation and boost it gives me to be successful.

I know this seems counterintuitive, but I spent years stressing about how to get rid of my anxiety and perfectionism, or how to settle with things just being good enough. Every book or quote you read about anxiety and perfectionism makes me feel broken or inadequate which is exactly the freaking opposite of what I need to feel in order to heal.

I had a really huge epiphany a while back that instead of getting rid of these typically negative traits, I needed to just lean into them, learn how to harness them, but not let them control me. Once I just owned the damn trait and stopped thinking something was wrong with me, my anxiety softened a little and I felt some release. It was as if trying to get rid of the anxiety and thinking I was flawed was causing me more anxiety.

Anxiety hits me one of two ways: Extra motivation or full stop analysis paralysis.

These days when I'm feeling extra anxious I ask myself what is triggering the episode and how can I heal from it. Usually, it's one of two solutions:

1. Extra motivation - Lean into it, but give it an expiration date. Usually, this happens when I've over-extended myself and I have a lot to do in a short period of time. For me, I've learned that instead of stressing and trying to "get rid" of the anxiety, I double down my time and bust my ass through a sprint, making sure I give myself a due date so I know the end of the episode is near. I admit, it's not the healthiest solution, but knowing there is an "end" gives me back control and actually reduces my anxiety.

2. Full Stop or Analysis Paralysis - Evaluate it and use it as a tool to heal. Journaling has been an excellent way to tap into why I'm feeling anxious or why I feel the need to perfect xyz. Currently, I'm using my social media content apprehension as a way to work through perfectionistic tendencies (aka anxiety when things aren't perfect).
You see, I have the whole month of June's content planned out, but keep making excuses as to why I'm not filming. I realize it's out of fear of imperfection. My brain sees thirty tasks that must be perfect, thirty opportunities to screw something up, which causes me to freeze. So this week I'm shifting perspective. This week I am telling myself that my job is to intentionally post "imperfect" content.
So basically, I'll only "perfect" my job if I focus on not being perfect. Sounds strange, but this shift of perspective totally gives my overthinking brain a much needed break.

I realize this won't work for everyone and definitely listen to your therapist before listening to me ;) But I'd love to know:

What trait do you have that is typically seen as negative? How can you turn it into a positive by either letting it motivate you or letting it help heal you?