Let's Call Bullshit and Move Forward...
This past week was the beginning of a Hindu celebration called Ganesh Chaturthi as well as Latin Heritage Month and because I don’t fit in with most people’s labels of Hindu or Latina, I felt awkward sharing much about these events on social media. I was sure I’d be judged because I don’t “look” like someone who would celebrate either of these.
“You don’t look Cuban” is the standard reply I can still hear in my head every single time someone asked me about my background, or every time I checked the “Hispanic” box on a form or defending myself by mentioning my family is Cuban every time I said I was from South Florida and heard negative comments about there being so many Cubans there (it happened way more than you’d think).
Eventually I stopped checking the Hispanic box, thinking I must not belong in that group. I just checked white. I had been made to feel like I wasn’t enough. Wasn’t brown enough, Spanish speaking enough, wasn’t Latina enough. So I gave into the label people gave me because it was easier and less hurtful.
I think this was the first time I learned that people will label you based on THEIR concept of what you look like to them. Regardless of whether you tell them different.
Fast forward to me moving to Alabama after living in Germany for a few years. I did NOT fit in as an Alabamian. I was the new girl in a smalltown school. They called me “the German girl” because I transferred from Germany. “You don’t sound German” was a constant comment to which every single time I would say, “I’m NOT German, I just lived there. I’m ½ Cuban” which really only made it worst in the racist south, but not before hearing “well you don’t look Cuban either” UGH.
I basically just tried to keep my head down and let them label me however they wanted, it was impossible to change their minds. So once again I stopped trying to correct their label of who I was because they had already decided based on their perception, regardless of my truth.
A couple of months ago, while in a pottery class, a girl saw my Durga tattoo and asked if I was Hindu. Now… personally I think it’s rude to ask a total stranger about their religion. But based on this girl’s previous comments, I could tell she was wanting to call me out on something and after the last two years of cultural appropriation talks, honestly I’m burnt out on white people calling out other white people. I told her, “I used to be, but now I mix Hinduism with a few other spiritualities to create something that better aligns with my personal beliefs.” Long story, she just kept on and started asking me about my yoga classes, if I say Namaste, etc. UGH.
SO because I’m white I cannot be Hindu or practice spirituality outside of Christianity? I left there shaken, upset and so very angry. My relaxing, exciting (and expensive) pottery class turned into yet another “you don’t look xyz” situation.
I bring all this up because frankly, I think these labels are bullshit.
Telling people they should or should not be something, check a box, practice a religion or participate in certain activities because these things don’t match what YOU think they should be doing based on the color of their skin or their background is how we’ve gotten to a place where we don’t even feel like we can share something we love or bring awareness to a celebration on social media without it turning into drama.
Can you think of times you have held back sharing your beliefs or opinions because you fear it went against labels people have given you? For fear they are judging you simply for being who you are because it’s different from who they think you should be?
How amazingly free and connected would the world be if we could remove assumptions about people based on their looks, race, age, gender, income bracket or where they live?
I listened to a fascinating podcast last week that really resonated with me. If this topic and the thoughts I’ve shared in previous blogs resonated with you, then I recommend listening to this episode on Sahara Rose’s Higher Self Podcast.
I can’t help but wonder how different the world would be if we just trusted that each person is doing what they feel and know to be the best decision for THEM based on their personal experience. Not based on some box they’ve been put in.
How amazing would it be if the only box we were ever put in was our dance box? 😊