How to show up as the person you want to be
Have you ever felt like the “real you” is trapped inside and being held back by limiting beliefs, bad habits or lack of motivation?
Or like you need to change something about your personality traits in order to accomplish the things you want out of life?
In my head I know the person I want to be, I have goals and plans that I want to accomplish. But then life happens and for many reasons that I’m sure we all run into, my actual day to day habits and persona often don’t line up with the person I know is on the inside. The person I know I want and need to be ends up hiding behind the person that its easier to be. The default DeAnna.
This isn’t something people typically talk about and it’s definitely a deep subject, but I’m currently reading The Alter Ego Effect and it’s been incredible to see how many, very successful people, feel this same way. So how did they get successful if they were holding themselves back? Well, you may have guessed it from the name of the book. They create an alter ego that they can invoke when they need to. Kinda like “fake it til you make it”, but with a lot more thought and intention behind it. He uses a great example of Superman’s alter ego, Clark Kent, who he has to pretend to be in order to live life as an average person. Only for most of us, we live a Clark Kent life and want to be able to call on our inner Superhero when we need it.
The idea of the alter ego is that we are living our ordinary lives, but many of us have extraordinary life goals or dreams…so how can we bring in the traits that we need in order to be extraordinary?
The author works with professional athletes and performers who have no choice but to show up whether they feel like it or not. It’s been fascinating to see the self-reflective and deep work process that these high performers go through in order to identify exactly who they want to be and how to show up as that person regardless of how they feel. Having a bad day, but you have a sold out concert? Embody your alter ego! Feeling a little off, but have to play in a championship game? Embody your alter ego! Want to accomplish a goal, but don’t think you have the self-confidence to get you there? You guessed it…call in your alter ego!
For instance, Ariana Grande isn't great at speaking up for herself so she has an alter ego named Roman that isn't afraid to say what he wants.
But its more than just deciding “I want to have more confidence” and then boom it’s done. Hell, if it were that easy we’d all be slaying our goals left and right.
The book has a lot of psychology and can’t really be summarized in a blog, but one idea I’ve really been focusing on is The Five Bridges. Basically, ask yourself the following questions and take the time to really dial in and ask yourself WHY you want these things?
What do you want to:
Stop doing?
Start doing?
Continue doing?
Do less of?
Do more of?
It sounds so simple, but I’ve found it quite challenging. Especially when you start digging into the WHY.
The idea is that one day, you'll actually find that you have the traits without the need to "turn them on".
Do you use an alter ego? I'd love to hear about it! How has your alter ego helped you succeed? Have you found it easier and easier to tap into this alter ego the longer you have it?